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Kevin Williams Story

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Kevin Williams Story

Post  Kevin_Williams on 30th August 2010, 8:11 pm

My Story


I Wake Up One Morning.., My Head Dizzy Has hell .., I Leaned towards the Window Looking outside and Seen a Strange Sights .., The Sky was all Dark And .. I Cant Really Explain it., I Just Thought Today was a Unusual But normal day. I Walk down the hall way towards the Bathroom and Picks up my Tooth Brush and Begin Brushing my Teeth, "Tuddled Tuddled!, I Hear .. It Sounds like it was Coming from downstairs near the back garden .. "Tuddled Tuddled" It Rattled .., I Thought it was a Robber .., So I Ran inside my Bedroom and Picked up my Desert Eagle .50 cal One Of my Favourite Weapons Since I Used it to save a Life. Anyway I Ran into the Room Grabed my Desert Eagle from Underneath my Bed and Looked outside out the window again .. The Vibe of the Atmosphere sent a Chill down my Neck .., I Went Down Stairs and Aimed my weapon around the Kitchen.. Then I Seen a Tail Waging in my Dumperster, I Was like Ey'" Cut that Out!, It Stopped wagging and Camed out of the Dumpster.., I Couldnt Describe this Creature .. That thing wasn't a Dog. Nor a Cat, Its skin was peeled off sending a Bloody Coat around its body. "Roof" Roof!" it shouts at me Growling ..,I Noticed it was a Deranged kind of Dog. I Was like What the Hell!, Then I Seen my Back Door has been Damaged with a little Hole inside of it, I Shot a Few Bullets at the Dog But it seems to Absorb the Bullets .. Strange I say. The Dog ran Towards me Sprinting at me I Begin running up the Stairs and Locked my Bedroom Door. The Dog was trying to Bang itself against it. Then I Looked outside again .. a Few Hydras Flew Pass about 30 Ft In the air. Then i Knew something must be Wrong .., I Turned on the T.V. And Switched towards the News Channel. "Danger Danger", Hannibal Attack", Danger Los santos Under attack".


Hannibal, Danger, attack was the three Words stuck inside of my head. I Opened my Closet Door and Began to Put on my Suit and my Dark Shades. And Garbed my car keys. The Dog was Carrying on banging on towards my Door". I Decided to Climb out the window and Head inside my Garage, I Went into my 1984 Ford Mustang and Drove towards the FIB HQ. "BANNG!!!. I Heard and People Screaming all around and another set of people Moaning. .., Walking Slowly.. It Appears that The Other People Running was Running away from the Weird Kind of People .. I Drove my car Threw the main streets and A Women and her son was Screaming Help Me! Sir, Please!, I Got out my car and Looked towards her .., I Said Get in., She got in my car and her son also and Said Thank you", Crying her eyes out. I carried on driving and said whats wrong?, She said "The City. ., Its Under attack" .., People are Biting and Scratching .. And Biting .. Uhh", She told me that she have been bitten and the Bite is starting to itch .. I Carried on Diriving and we finally arrived at the HQ, Everyone was in Swat Gear With Heavy Weapons Like, Combat Knife, M4A1, MP5, Desert Eagle .50, AA-12 Shotgun .. They Told me , "Agent Williams, We have a Situation. They Told me all about it and about the UC Corporation and We head towards Las Ventuaras for a Special Mission. To Get the "T-Virus" Or what ever thats called .., Erm .. . Two helicopters We head inside them and Went off. .. Long Journey .. 30 Men I stood with and a Few Survived that Battle against the Cannibals .., We didn't Receive the T Virus, Since it was already Released I Realised. a Helicopter Came to Pick me up and I Was on my way Towards Liberty City .. And Here I Am Today.


Last edited by Kevin_Williams on 30th August 2010, 8:22 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Paragraphs xD)
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Re: Kevin Williams Story

Post  AaUndeadMarine on 30th August 2010, 8:13 pm

Welcome to the Community????
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Re: Kevin Williams Story

Post  oO Coggy Oo on 30th August 2010, 8:17 pm

Hello welcome to the community(just a tip split your writing up into paragraphs). Very Happy
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Re: Kevin Williams Story

Post  Kevin_Williams on 30th August 2010, 8:22 pm

Thank you ^^
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Re: Kevin Williams Story

Post  Pwnisher James on 30th August 2010, 9:01 pm

Now im not trying to be a dick but as a fellow writer, I advise you not to use capitals like that all the time. Only use a capital at the beginning of a sentence or of something important like a name or place.
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Re: Kevin Williams Story

Post  Kevin_Williams on 30th August 2010, 9:05 pm

I know I keep doing that, its kind of a habit ...
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Re: Kevin Williams Story

Post  Pwnisher James on 30th August 2010, 9:21 pm

Don't worry, I had the exact same habit back when I was a freshmen writer. Just try writing normally and you will get the hang of it. Smile
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Re: Kevin Williams Story

Post  Kevin_Williams on 30th August 2010, 9:37 pm

^^
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Re: Kevin Williams Story

Post  ABigSoggy Wafle on 30th August 2010, 11:08 pm

Unlike James here, I am trying to be a dick. First of all, handling a .50 caliber degal is nearly impossible. The weight alone makes it difficult to aim, not to mention the kick back that could break your wrist. Second, you are trying WAY to hard to make this seem bad ass. You are throwing realism out the window and making another generic story. Third, your descriptions of events and rooms is hardly passable, unlike your grammar. I am not saying you need to have perfect grammar but, it is necessary to instate better sentance st to I am not sure if you are trying to make it sound like he is writing it or he is looking back on it. I don't know what the character, setting, looks like or even a basic understanding of the main character's personality.
I welcome you to the community and I don't think any different of you, but your writing, in my opinion (obviously I cannot speak for everyone) sucks.
Can't wait to see you on zombie night...
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Re: Kevin Williams Story

Post  SilentBokChoi on 31st August 2010, 12:04 am

I agree with waffle,a Desert eagle 50.cal?try to be more realistic and not so bad ass,i mean instead of desert eagle 50.cal why not a 9mm handgun? or a 32.cal revolver?not trying to be mean or anything and totally shitting on the hour you wasted writing that but,your not that badass. Neutral

and your kind of illiterate...i mean i spell my words wrong somtimes but what the fuck is a darbage? Suspect

I now wrote my own story.Post your opinion.
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