JB's story

I wrote it in 3rd person.

JB always loved city life. Loved the people, loved the sights. He thought he was going to have the perfect life until one day. He had just finished his 4 years of Medical school when he had received some bad news. "J, your father has just gone into a coma." said his fathers buisness partner. JB couldn't believe it. He didn't know what to do. But months have passed, and his father was recovering. JB was driving over to the hospital to see him. He was happy as could be until he saw it. People were running and crying down the street. Fire Trucks sped pass him. He saw people standing in awe and fear. The hospital was on fire. Blazing flames kissing the sky. He ran out of his car and approached a nurse.

"WHERE IS MY DAD?!"
"Who?"
"TELL ME WHERE THE FUCK HE IS!!!!"
"I'm sorry, sir! No one made it out alive."

Years have passed. JB was unemployed. He had no where to go until it happened. News Reports came in about cannibalistic attacks up north. So what?, he thought, Fucked up shit happens every day.

Two Weeks have passed.

Every Channel. Every Show. Every Minute. Cannibalistic attacks have reached the city. Hic City. His friends were in panic. His family was in panic. He didn't care. He lived in this city his whole life. He knew there were a lot of fucked up people just trying to scare the rest of us. He didn't care..until one day. JB was out driving back from the store when he saw some strange happenings. People running down the street crying and screaming. People who seemed to be innocent were being shot down. He saw buildings on fire. and when he saw the hospital on fire, he just lost it. He sped back home screaming.

He listened intently to the reports. "Attacks have spread from Canada to the Middle East. If you are still in the city, arm yourself and try and make it to the the prison. We are brodcasting from there now and we have food, water, clothes and protection." On the way there, JB hit some of those things on the way. He looted a gun shop also. When he made it there, a barricade was assembled. He was glad he made it. But then, The infected broke through. Children were ripped apart. soldiers were eaten alive. JB ran. He ran as hard as he could. He found a strip club, and barricaded himself in. With a few guns, a medical knowledge, and scarse ammo, JB fel somewhat calm.

"This is the end." he said to himself, "This is it."

Wow very nice use of words. Discricptive on how the character acted too.

Well well, not bad.
Description was good but, it was a little short.
Also (This is not just to JB. This is just to every writer here) try to make this more realistic. Gun shops in cities are usually out lawed. Be creative on where you character gets the guns. Also you missed out on a good moment. The first kill. Take advantage of stuff like that.