.................................... umm masturbation??

Masturbation Song

You don't need to use a condom
You don't need a dental dam
You don't need to say "I Love You" or "Here's Fifty
Dollars, Ma'am."

Don't need to spring for dinner,
Or wear all that sexy stuff
All you need's a set of fingers and a wanker or a muff
'Cause everybody's doin' it, all across the land
Masturbators Of America, Give Yourselves A Hand!

It's natural, and organic
It's easy and it's fun
If you don't know how to do it ask your parents how it's done
You don't need a special license

You don't need a special skill
Just unzip and slip your grip between your hips and get a thrill
'Cause everybody's doin' it, and boy does it feel grand,
Masturbators of America, Give Yourselves a Hand!

(Musical bridge, with lots of suggestive dance moves on the
ROCKER'S part. For instance, he does that one bit where you
jump backwards on one leg while playing air guitar, except that
instead of playing air guitar he's stroking air wanker.)

You can do it in the bathroom
You can do it in your bed
You can do it at a concert while you watch the Grateful Dead
You can rub it with some lotion

You can stroke it with a cloth
Arnold Shwartzenegger pounds it, Michael Jackson jacks it off
Your attitude will soften, your horizons will expand.
Masturbators of America, Give Yourself a Hand

lmfao thats hilarious

wat

When the game of life makes you feel like quittin',
It helps a lot if you kill a kitten
Mark my words, cause from where I'm sittin,
You can't go wrong if you kill a kitten.

There's no crime that you'll be commitin'
I know the law, you can kill a kitten.
If you need yarn for that scarf you're knittin'
Youll get plenty when you kill a kitten

Feed it turpentine, or break its spine,
Crush it with your shoe, as long as you...
Kill a kitten

If the one you love isn't quite as smitten,
She'll like you better when you kill a kitten
To quote the bible, cause that's where it's written
If yee loveth Jesus, yee must kill a kitten

Flush it down the can, hit it with your van,
Throw it at a train, make it snort cocaine
Drown it in a lake, bake a kitty cake
Stick some TNT up its cat booty
Do what you must do, as long as you...
Kill a kitten

Killing kittens isn't easy,
And if the thought makes you feel queasy,
Grab a pitchfork from the shed,
And kill a puppydog instead!
Kill a kitten, you gotta kill a kitten, a little furry kitten.
Kill...
8675309, 8675309
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJTbk9fAdWI
Great songs...