Will this win me $100?

My school is having an essay competition of why life is good. The grand prize is $100 "cash money." The max number of words is 150 and no less than 100. Here is mine, tell me what you think or completely ignore it and write your own. If you do write here, I would appreciate some criticism but, it you don't have to.

To be able to breathe the salty crisp air as the white water crashes against the sand and dissipates delicately into the golden grits like a glass of fresh champagne.

To be able to witness the white sheets that covers all but a few green patches of pine. Blankets, which glow with a bright beam that tumbles down on to the softly beaten trail. The trail then evaporates into the horizon of snow capped mountains and “whited out” lakes set up in a near, “dollhouse” manner.

To be able feel the light scream of a hollowed guitar, whose tight copper woven strings are tapped onto the rose wood fret board as the nylon lightly picks the corresponding strings, which carries a beat; a beat that cascades like a delicate flower into the cool night sky up among the diamond shining stars in the vast sea of space.

To be able to forget the hardships, for the sweet isn’t as sweet until you have tasted the bitter chill of defeat and dismay.

This is why life is good to me.

Cant imagine anyone would write something better. If anything, there is alot of conceit, a bit too piled on for me, but still very good and Im sure they eat that stuff up. I only say that so I can say at least one bad thing. Hope you win!

You'll get disqualified because they will think you copied it from the internet.

I coppied this and sent it in. Sorry but the money is mine i couldnt resist.

I think you could win.

wow that pretty good......really really good.
In my school there was also a competition like this but with a different topic and a 75 dollar prize. Andi honestly didnt give two shits and you all know i cant write for shit but somehow I won.....

Is that money taxed before you get it?

DeadApe wrote: Cant imagine anyone would write something better. If anything, there is alot of conceit, a bit too piled on for me, but still very good and Im sure they eat that stuff up. I only say that so I can say at least one bad thing. Hope you win!

Yea I kind of felt that way to. The run ons and fragments kind of pissed me off but, I think it is alright. Thanks for your and everyone elses input... Even knox's lol.

**Edit: No I don't think so Thanatos. The goverment isn't incharge of the compition but, I know they do that for the lottery. They take about 1/2 of your earnings, what a joke!

ABigSoggy Wafle wrote:

DeadApe wrote: Cant imagine anyone would write something better. If anything, there is alot of conceit, a bit too piled on for me, but still very good and Im sure they eat that stuff up. I only say that so I can say at least one bad thing. Hope you win!

Yea I kind of felt that way to. The run ons and fragments kind of pissed me off but, I think it is alright. Thanks for your and everyone elses input... Even knox's lol.

**Edit: No I don't think so Thanatos. The goverment isn't incharge of the compition but, I know they do that for the lottery. They take about 1/2 of your earnings, what a joke!

Indeed, it was more of a joke though. The day the Government gets in control of school competitions will truly be a wonder.

Not to get off topic or anything, but have you noticed education has gotten worse ever since they took control of schools, their funding, "curriculums?" I hate the Government.


Also, good luck in the competition!

Thank you and soo true. We had actual pycs. cut from our school, now for consoling we get some cat lady who says everything is going to be ok. This isn't something we can just blow off either. Within the last year, I think we have had about 5 or 6 suicides. Pretty fucked upped. But, got for bid the drama club doesn't become a sport and get funded by the school, OH NO! The schools are now just looking for money to scrape together just to get past one semester. It is just detraining more and more.