Awww I had my hopes up for nothing

http://www.cracked.com/article_18683_7-scientific-reasons-zombie-outbreak-would-fail-quickly.html

just the 7th reason (first that shows up) i believe is not right. Animals would stay away from the zombies because of their smell or something (i forgot what the zombie survival guide said) but most animals would stay away from them. secondly, sure maggots would eat their eyes out, but zombies would also have their sense of smell and hearing. the virus would propably increase those two senses. but then again, im going off the basis of the zombie survival guide, which is completely fictional, lol.

I'M SAVED! Living in the desert has to benefits. Slow ass zombies that gonna drop and will be render motionless and zombie jerky.

If there is ever an apocalypse, im moving to BC.

This is all implying that the zombies are actually dead, and not just infected.

Pwnisher James wrote:If there is ever an apocalypse, im moving to BC.

Where is BC? What is BC?

I'm pretty sure he means British Columbia, or Canada if you're stupid.

Bladewind23 wrote:I'm pretty sure he means British Columbia, or Canada if you're stupid.

Yesh

Zombies would most likely eat each other or themselves, actual once dead zombies have gone through most of the decomposition process therefor, unable to move. With that said, what is to preserve the human brain, allowing it to work after being deprived of oxygen for an enormous period of time.

What would work?

A virus, that is sent air born, that attacks the vulnerable (children, people with poor immune systems & elderly) and then uses their vulnerably image to attack anyone by surprise, who has been infected yet.

The virus must take control of a living being that still has all of the working parts of the human body, with the exception of a few organs (liver, since the infected are eating raw meat any how). The virus would also have to put the human body in Juggernaut mode. This means that the body must feed quickly due to the normal conditions on earth (other viruses, weather, ect) and the possible lack of certain organs. If you are eating raw meat, you will be consumed from the inside out by bacteria. On top of that, the virus needs to keep humans looking and acting normal. It would be easy to pick out the infected and kill them unless they looked just like the uninfected. The virus would also have to be a very complex neurological feat. Take rabies and mix it with mad cow times a thousand and you get the optimal virus.
Other characteristics of the virus would have to be, keeping as much of a normal human function intact, manipulating the brain to stay smart, agile, but at the same time, getting rid of emotional ties with other humans, and going pretty much berserk looking for food, regardless of the pain being afflicted. They would also need to release either a special scent or large amount of hormones in order to make them seem undesirable to other "zombies".

In short(lol not really), you would have to turn humans into smart cavemen who look and act just like normal humans. Of course, with the mentality to eat who ever they see, and possibly smell like ablutophobiatic (fear of bathing) football player. The virus would also have to attack the people with weak immune systems (children, homeless, old people). However, if the zombie virus is created and distributed, (based off of apocalyptic theories) what you should worry about is not the crazy grandmothers, 8 year olds, and homeless people running around bitting you, but their mental capacity to use tools such as guns. Zombies with guns... FUCK!

tl;dr (with epiphany attached)
If the zombie virus is created, zombies would have to (theoretically) look, act, just like us and have the ability to use guns in order to be effective.

What could this image possibly look like?

Look at today, and what I just told you. The virus could have already spread, and you wouldn't even know it.
The theory of the virus is almost no different then the fear of communism being born in America with the exception that the kindergartener's would be mini Stalins, that and they would crave your flesh.
The theory also sounds like terrorism today only with a different age group... well that and the part about eating our flesh. Bin Laden hasn't said that... yet.

So to sum this all up

Working "Zombie" virus THEORY - The "median" age group - Cannibalistic threats (well at least for most terroristic threats) =Modern Day Terrorism

Pwnisher James wrote:

Bladewind23 wrote:I'm pretty sure he means British Columbia, or Canada if you're stupid.

Yesh

Mind was somewhere else.....
Don't use those mean words Bladewind

I wasn't calling you stupid.. I was saying, if someone was stupid enough to not know what British Columbia is

7) They Have Too Many Natural Predators
Yeah, and eating a zombie is probably really healthy for those natural predators... soon we'd have zombie bears to fend off, instead of regular zombies. Not to mention those insects would go from a zombie to a human and make the virus transmit without being in contact with zombies.

6) They Can't Take the Heat
Yeah, and having zombies explode all over the streets sure as hell isn't a concern at all. It's not like the blood could infect anyone after they're dead... no?

5) They Can't Handle the Cold
Nothing to add... "Somewhere cold" has always been the best place to escape the zombie apocalypse in my opinion.

4) Biting is a Terrible Way to Spread a Disease
Remember how most humans are leashed, locked inside a house or fenced? Yeah, me neither. Not to mention that humans and dogs react a bit differently to the kind of situation. If a zombie without much physical damage is shambling towards you, you'd probably think it's some drunk, and probably wouldn't shoot him in the head or attack it UNTIL it attacks you. And then it's too late.
If a rabies infected dog runs at another dog barking and mouth foaming, that dog sure as hell will defend itself or run away if it can.

3) They Can't Heal from Day to Day Damage
First of all:

Think about all the paper cuts, stubbed toes and nut shots you have suffered in your life. Now imagine they never healed, just sat there and rotted while you continued to rack up other paper cuts, stubbed toes and nut shots. Pretty much every wound you've ever had would end with an amputation.

If nothing ever healed, then the amputation would just make a bigger neverhealing wound. Goddammit, who the fuck is the retard that wrote this article?

Second: EVERYONE knows that zombies don't heal. That's nothing new, but we also know that they don't NEED to heal. If a zombie loses its legs, it will keep dragging on with its hands.

2) The Landscape is Full of Zombie-Proof Barriers
And as we all know, office buildings are FULL of food. Those vending machines could keep a whole office alive for YEARS!

1) Weapons and the People Who Use Them
This has been discussed to death on the forums. Getting firearms in a city environment isn't that easy. And even if you had a gun, preserving ammo is important, so you can't just go around popping zombies in the head just to kill some time.

____

Not so scientific after all? And of course they never even considered the chance of 28 x later kind of infection which doesn't really kill the infected, only makes them really agressive.

I'm more frightened of a Stephen King's Cell "infected".

Spoiler:

ZOMBIE BEARS

Super Mega King wrote:I'm more frightened of a Stephen King's Cell "infected".

Spoiler:

That's a great book. It creeped the hell outta me haha