How to kill a zombie... as a last resort in ranked GTA4 deathmatch...

**HoodedNalec** 17th October 2009, 5:16 pm

I have not been part of this community for long ((Two hours)) but I have some compelling advice to give to the rotting corpses who look forward to beating a zombie... with your bare goddamn hands.

You see, it was a typical night on a ranked deathmatch. When... a ten year old, in the zombie skin, approached me... with a knife. I was at the top so far, 2,000 or so pounds. It was my time to shine, and... I failed. I was stabbed in the eye, the knee, and the back as I stumbled over the curb and died when I hit my head off a parked car. I made the fatal error to be running around with two bullets in my pistol. Two shots were delivered in the glorious headshotting of a man with just a knife. When suddenly, the zombie attacked. I thought I had another gun, so I went through my inventory to find a knife and someone's fist. Which is weird, because I do not remember picking up any rubber fists on my way to Bohan to participate in a gang war... oh well...

While I was going through my stuff, I was in trouble when I realised the zombie was too close and I could not bring my knife out in time. I got my ass handed to me, by a cigar chomping, undead ten year old from hell itself.

He waited, he stalked and he waited for me to run out of ammo again, where I made the stupid mistake... again. So I fought the zombie with boxing moves I learned from growing up in Colony Island. ((THUGLIFEDAWG!!)) It was so epic, that anyone with a zombie fetish ((It is not necrophilia if they are UNdead)) would splooge in matter of seconds within the hot zombie vs guy with protective helmet action! My god, that was dreadfully inappropriate... Like I give a shit though....

Anyways, if you ever encounter this ten year old, knife wielding, undead maniac... this is what you should do one of the following...

1.) RUN BITCH RUN

2.) RUN + EQUIPT KNIFE + ??? = PROFIT!!!

3.) Give him a haymaker to the temple and teabag without mercy

4.) Swallow magnets, stab the homeless

Or finally...

5.) If you die, scream "BULLSHIT!!"