Lost Man Diary { Part 1 }

Hello my name is Jack Robertson

.I have nothing to live for no wife no kids.My mamma died of heart attack 2 years ago.Never new my daddy, laft my ma when i was a little baby. and me brother. I live in my house all by myself its a peice of trash.I got myself one friend... Whiskey.. whips the sorrow away.


Day 1 - The city arubted in violence today all downtown though they shut some buisnesses down though.Gotta go down to the store to get some more whiskey runnin low.

Day 2 - News reported some illness today when i was flippin through the channels. More riots. Cops are tryin to shut down the downtown part of the city riots must be gettin worst.

Day 3 - Its gottin worst, Police have quarintined the downtown section and fire has destroyed some buildings.Im going down to the pawn shop to get a gun,ive been meaning to purchase one though.

Day 4 -Holy Crap. This morning i heard a explosion. Went outside but couldnt see anything. I decided to see if the guys down at the store heard anything. I got a 2 blocks from the sore and saw a fire, one of the pumps had exploded and destroyed the front of the place and threw a car across the street. Several bodies were scattered across the pavement... dead... because there bodies were scorched. i decided to check the store 3 bodis were scattered on the floor one had been decapaited thanks to a hub cap from the car across the street now.I started checking there pulse... the other 2.Both dead.I decided to report it but the lines were busy so i decided to leave but just as i started to walk off the bathroom door opened i spun around to see Mick a store regular like me. I started to talk to him. Before i saw blood seeping from his shoulder. I had to do something so i gathered him up and started hauling him down the street until. My mind slowed and i remebered i have no idea were his house is so i rushed him home.

Day 5 - Im suprised He made it through the night. And it started to sound like the riot was right outside. The television is only got one channel and its pickin up static. This city has taken a turn for the worse. Im lockin the doors and getting that new 44. Magnum i got acouple days ago.

Day 6 - I hear grunts and sreams from the outside, I look out the blinds and see people walking around in the middle of the street lost.. some have missing limbs... others cuts in their clothes, all are covered in blood... some are women and children.

Day 7 - Micky woke up today little out of it. I questioned him about the store he looked like he saw a ghost and said he was in the store about to walk out and was hittin by a peice of shrapnel and he limped to the restroom. He asked what happened to Dean. I asked who Dean was and he descibed him. I remebered... It was the man without a head. I didnt tell him that though. He asked about the riots I said I couldnt find out anything. So I went to the closet and shuffled through an old box and pulled out a old radio. After minutes of arranging the signal I got on. Not on a news channel though on a hip-hop station. A voice crackled alive " Yo my acopalypse friends this is Wild Cat, and welcome to hip-hop radio. Breaking news zombies have know reached the end of Manhattan and are now spreaded to Chicago and Atlanta, and guess what the military is doin about it? Absolutely Nothing!" on that word i turned it off an d looked at micky we both had a shot look on our face. Later we both agreed if htis was the Acopalypse then we are going to beat it no matter the cost.

yea its not bad at all man

Criticism time!

Ok so your background story is all good and dandy but your description is... a little off. You describe something but just not enough. Describe what your character sees, smells, and feels. Like the heat of the fire or the racing of his heart because of the adrenaline. Also, the whole "hero" thing where an explosion occurs and the guy goes to save them is all fine and dandy but where is the police and fire department? How did he take a man from an explosion site? Also why is the military doing nothing? Were they infected or they are quarantining the major cities? There is nothing wrong with a little bit of spell check either. Might I suggest Safari as your internet browser? It comes standard with spell check in any text box you write in and it is the fastest internet browser out of most. So I hope you take some of my suggestions, and now I am off to read chapter 2.