DEAD TOWN-PART 2

Chapter Two

January, 1st 2007,

The man was gaining on Alex. With every step with felt the sickening feeling that the stranger was right behind him. Alex did not dare turn around to see though. Frantically, Alex scrambled past the tree line and into the street.

“Somebody help!” was all he could shout out between breaths.

Not stopping he checked to both sides of him for aid. There was no one to be seen. The only place close to hide was a beat-up dumpster. Knocking the metal rod holding the lid open, Alex crawled inside. If he paid any attention to it, he would have noticed that the stench was unbearable. However, he was too busy worrying if the crazed man outside had seen him hide.

Holding his hand over his mouth, Alex tried to stifle the sounds of his panting. He could hear the moans and heavy footsteps of the man outside the dumpster. Each step seemed to compliment the sound of his pounding pulse, which, to Alex, seemed louder than ever. The steps grew nearer and louder until Alex was sure that the man was standing right outside. The smell that was coming off of him matched the one of the dumpster.

Slowly Alex moved his hand towards the metal rod he had knocked into the bin. Shaking he brought it up near his head, ready to swing it with all his might. The hands of the man outside the dumpster, started pounding on top of it, as if trying to figure out how to open it. Without realizing it, Alex was holding his breath with his full concentration on the light entering through the crack of the lid.

All of a sudden, the man’s blood-crusted hand slipped into the dumpster feeling around. The other then gripped the top and prepared to open it, but suddenly stopped. Puzzled and scared, Alex listened and heard the sound of footsteps. He then heard a second pair of footsteps, the stranger’s. They were leading away from Alex’s hiding spot.

He cracked the lid open an inch to look outside. The strange man stumbled over to the street again and when he turned around the corner, set off running again. A woman’s scream cut through the air. Alex leapt out of the dumpster with his weapon in hand, and raced towards the source. As he turned the corner he saw a woman being attacked by the injured man. He was biting and clawing at her.

Gripping the rod tighter in his hand, Alex rushed over and leapt into the air. He brought his weapon down to meet the attacker’s head with a stomach-turning thud. He felt the man’s skull collapse underneath the force of the blow. Alex shoved the dead man off of the woman.

“Shit, shit, shit,” he repeated when he saw her face.

The now dead man had ripped off most of the left side of her face, and she had several chunks of her neck bitten off. Alex saw none of it lying around her and he looked at the mouth of her attacker. It was covered it blood. He was EATING her! Alex could barely stand the sight of her mutilated face. It made him want to vomit the apple that he just ate. The woman brought her hand up to cover her visage as she wept, sputtering blood each time she sobbed.

“Don’t worry, you’ll be okay. Just stay with me.” He didn’t know what to say at a time like this. He wasn’t a doctor but it didn’t look too good for her. Suddenly an older man appeared from behind him. “I saw everything.” The man wrapped a cloth he had with him around the woman’s neck and face to stop the bleeding. “Quick we’ve got to get her inside.” Alex nodded and began to lift the injured woman underneath her arms.

The woman wailed in pain but she managed to cough out “My baby” As she pointed to an overturned carriage on the sidewalk. Alex must have missed it during all the excitement, but the old man placed her legs down gently and ran over to it. Lifting the baby up, he yelled over to Alex, “You help her into my shop and I’ll carry the baby.”

Alex felt relieved that the baby was somehow unharmed. Propping the woman up, he placed the woman’s arm around his neck. She didn’t carry much of her own weight and was weak now. She was bleeding profusely and it seemed the makeshift bandages were no longer doing any good. Blood dripped down from the woman’s face and fell onto Alex, staining his shirt. He found it disgusting, but was not about to give up on her. The old man had already gone inside his store and was holding the door open, looking nervously from side to side, waving them in. “Come on!”

Alex and the woman stumbled into the store and he laid her head softly onto a stack of newspapers. The baby was crying loudly now, as the elderly man tossed another cloth to Alex. He then picked up the phone attached to the wall. As Alex exchanged the blood-soaked cloth for the new one, he saw each number the old man dialed. 9…1…1

The old man tapped the counter impatiently. He hung up the phone and re-dialed the number. “why is no one picking up?!” he yelled as he slammed it back down on the receiver. Alex cursed under his breath as he helplessly watched the injured woman cough up more blood. Suddenly, she went limp and her chest lowered. He just sat there until, after a moment, the old man spoke up.

“is she… dead?”

Alex put his index and middle finger on the side of her throat that still remained whole. He nodded silently when he couldn’t find a pulse. Alex looked all around the store. The white tiles were now under a pool of blood. He turned back to the woman and closed her eyes for her. He understood why people did this now. It wasn’t because death was some sort of sleep. It was because it was terrible thing to experience; Looking into a dead person’s eyes. It felt like he was expecting her to just blink and then return to normal, except he knew it wouldn’t happen.

Not being able to bear the sight of looking at the dead body, alex put an unfolded newspaper over her head. It almost immediately turned red.

“we’d better get to the hospital or something. I think the baby’s fine, but…”

the old man just stopped and stared at something behind alex. Standing up confused, Alex heard a piece of paper hit the ground. He turned around and then slowly stepped back. The injured woman was now on all fours, trying to get onto her feet. She still had her eyes closed, but when she was completely upright, they opened and locked on to alex’s. they were still as empty as they were before, and as soon as alex took another step back, she let out a high-pitched scream and launched herself at him.

Panicking, alex stumbled backwards and fell to the floor. The resurrected body landed on top of him and started grabbing at him. Her hands closed onto his arm and brought it up to her mouth. Alex used his other hand to pull his arm towards him, but she dropped her head down to bite him. Alex felt the woman’s mouth on his unprotected arm and it felt as if everything had slowed down as he closed his eyes tightly, waiting for the pain to come.

A loud BANG sounded, and the woman’s body collapsed on top of him. The blood from her wound ran down her neck to his. Alex threw the body off of him and shuffled himself against the counter. He inspected his arm and found teeth marks. They hadn’t broken the skin, but had had pinched him enough to leave an imprint.. He ignored the pain from the bite because he could now see the woman was in much worse shape. Her head now had a smoking hole in it. Alex looked upwards and saw a shaky hand with a revolver in it.

(Sorry I sorta rushed this one because I just wanted to finish it)

Its okay, but you really should just edit the first post rather than us just having twenty different topics for each chapter.

GAHH!!! Grammar! In terms of dialog...
Incorrect:
"Get the fuck away from me!" Bill's scream cut through the foggy sea air. The scream was in vane, though, as the seemingly endless wave of growling and screeching zombies advanced forward one by one, with their hands out, grabbing air as they were stopped short by M16 round to the gut. Some were just inches away from his skull. "Can I get some help over here?!" Bill pleaded to the other 3 others. "Shit out of ammo!" Bill screamed as he saw the last 4 zombies make a wild sprint towards him. 10 feet, 9 feet, 8, 7, 6, 5,... they kept gaining. Bill flinched as a zombie stopped just inches out of its reach. Bill squinted his eyes and was just able to see 4 zombies be torn away from 12 shot gun shells ravaged through the 4 zombies. Blood squirted into Bill's eyes. He rubbed his eyes and opened them again to see one last zombie stumbling towards him. Bill look at his M16, useless, then at his hands. His hands. He knew what must be done. The zombie now had Bill's head in his hands."This is it!" the zombie thought. "This is my shot at bra-..." His train of thought was cut short as a quick jab to the face. Another jab broke he grip free from his Bill's old wrinkled head. "Suck on this, bitch." Those words echoed through the zombie's ears and the last jab was thrown through the zombie's face and ended at the back of the skull. Bill let out a horrifying war cry that shuttered the very bones of the 3 survivors as he ripped out the hippocampus of his attacker, no, his prey. Bill held it up above his head as it glowed and basted in the moon light. "I told you I would kill them with my bare hands, MY BARE GOD DAMN HANDS!" magicman Bill said. "What ever you say Bill." Zoey agreed in fear of her life.

Correct:
"This is it!" the zombie thought. "This is my shot at bra-..." His train of thought was cut short as a quick jab to the face. Another jab broke he grip free from his Bill's old wrinkled head.
"Suck on this, bitch." Those words echoed through the zombie's ears and the last jab was thrown through the zombie's face and ended at the back of the skull. Bill let out a horrifying war cry that shuttered the very bones of the 3 survivors as he ripped out the hippocampus of his attacker, no, his prey. Bill held it up above his head as it glowed and basted in the moon light. "I told you I would kill them with my bare hands, MY BARE GOD DAMN HANDS!" magicman Bill said.
"What ever you say Bill." Zoey agreed in fear of her life.

The point here is, indent when a new person is speaking in dialog. Also sorry for that random story. I had to tribute something to magicman. It's also not a bad short, no?
Anyway, this story is great. I mean I think the first might be a bit better but like Ross says keep it in one thread. Make a book or something.

The idea and the story itself is really good but the structure punctuation and grammar could be a little better
Keep up the good work though