Oh, the Places You'll Go! (Game Topic)

Orange/Natala: To the druid camp. People of the earth are often quite in tune with the workings of the world, and could perhaps inform you more of the power that the crazy men were talking about.

Nick the Cheerleader: "Ooh the OASIS sounds fun. Let's go to the Oasis. I hope it's a day spa." Go to the day spa.

Red: "Great Scott, Monk! Watch out!" Run up and wildly bash the beast with the journal

Rose: Go to The Evil Tree.

Daisy: Go to the oasis. Order someone to swim in it to try and find the artifact

"I'm John, by the way. You've probably heard of me. I'm in a band.

Anyway, we were told by someone named Robochips that there were different artifacts thrown around this land. Supposedly the artifacts have something to do with a giant triangle in the middle of this land. I'm probably the only one here with the initiative and power to search for that artifact, so I've taken the task upon myself.

Know anything about them?"

Des/Black: Wait to see what happens when Red attacks the blob. If it fights back, be prepared to heal him.

Nick the Cheerleader: Do it. Jump into the pool. Just do it and not care about consequences.

Maybe this is one of those portal pools that leads to another location when you swim through it.

: I'm John. By the way. You've probably heard of me. I'm in a band.

: We were told by someone named Robochips that there were different artifacts thrown around this land. Supposedly the artifacts have something to do with a giant triangle in the middle of this land. I'm probably the only one here with the initiative and power to search for that artifact, so I've taken the task upon myself. Do you know anything about them?

: I don't know much about a giant triangle, no, but I've consorted with Robochips on multiple occasions. He's pretty interesting, once you get to know him. As far as artifacts in this area, I can't tell you with any certainty where anything is. Feel free to look anywhere in the forest, but be careful. A group of corrupted druids has taken up residence here lately; I've tried to communicate with them but they attack on sight. I've got plenty of things I can do to help--some of them will cost you, though. Hugging trees isn't particularly enterprising.

---



Red batters the creature to death with his journal; it heartily explodes after a couple strikes. You feel as if you're more experienced in combat, but you feel as if future combat experiences will not be this simple.
Where would you like to go?
- The Evil Tree
- The Ancient Golem's Den
- The Druid's Camp
- The Heart of the Forest
- The Forest Path (Search for a monster, or something interesting in the forest)
- Return to Roboland

---

Nick jumps into THE OASIS.



There is a glinting object at the bottom of the body of water.

You see here a rare FRESHWATER SHARK.



The FRESHWATER SHARK attacks!



NICK is now WOUNDED.

---



FLASK heads to the EVIL TREE. The tree looks a little evil, but it really seems to just be a tree that's grown into a vaguely face-like arrangement. Looks like you could climb inside. There is a pair of robed figures here with some sort of familiar.

: Despair, fool!

: Come closer and you will... uh... DIE!

: Yeah! Cause we'll kill you and stuff!

Vekken Head to the Oasis.

"Any ideas on how we can get rid of that shark?"

Coggy: Travel to the Ancient Golem's Den.

Nick the Cheerleader: "THIS IS THE WORST DAY SPA EVER."

Hit shark on nose with baton to stun it. Swim away.

Daisy: "OH NO! My beloved cheerleader. Jump in the water and gauge the sharks eyes out while its still stunned.

Rose: "No need for all that, fellows. I'm Ash, who are you?"

Des/Black: Head into the Heart of the Forest.

Green:



What kind of things do you have that could help us?

Perhaps we could make a deal.

Red: Head to the Heart of Forest, but at a more scholarly pace than Des.

Richard: Sensing that the Cheerleader is in danger, step in to the Oasis.

Iggy: Stop screaming, realizing that you can't achieve SUPER STICK STATUS like that.

Chase after team.

"Heh, sorry about that guys."

Pink/Wolfenstein: *Travel to the Oasis and approach the others.*

: What do you have? Perhaps we could strike a deal.

: Well met.

In total, your team has access to $18.
*Isis's Services:
Fortune - $1:: "As a practitioner of such things as scrying, I've occasionally fancied myself a bit of a clairvoyant. Just give me the name of anyone, friend or foe, and I'll tell their fortune. Just be aware that the future is subject to the observer effect--looking at it changes it, and it might not always be a good thing."
Purify - $3: "I can heal the wounds of anyone who is hurt, as well as cure most ailments. Still working on foot fungus, before you ask. So don't go wading in any rivers."
Ancestral Spirit - $10: "I'm capable of reviving the recently dead, as long as their soul is willing to return. It goes without saying that I don't do suicides, cause it's just kind of a downer when it doesn't work, and I get all teary-eyed sometimes, and..."
Druidic Teaching - $8: "Depending on what class you are, I might be able to teach you a new skill."

---


: No need for that, fellows. I'm Ash. Who are you?

: We're the Druids of Ravenclaw, guardians of the evil tree!

: Don't tell him that you dumb cunt.

: Shut up. Go away, you pink one! No one gets in! We do not make exceptions for the likes of you, and if you meet another of us in the forest, then despair!

---

Coggy arrives at the ANCIENT GOLEM'S DEN. There is a large, poorly-illustrated stone creature here with blue, spectral cards circling it.



: okay who are you

: I am the Ancient Golem.

: If you have come to obtain my crest of mental clarity, then you must put an end to my existence. Only he who inflicts the killing blow is worthy to bear the blue buff.

---

DES and RED head for the HEART OF THE FOREST. RED travels at a scholarly pace and gets there slow as hell.

The unexamined life is not worth living.



There is a monolith here. You somehow recognize it as a GATEWAY. There are others like this in the land, but they are inactive. You must first activate the gateway by fulfilling some unknown conditions, after which you will be able to travel to any other active gateway.

---



Others arrive on the scene at the OASIS, and MISS DAISY jumps in.



NICK strikes the shark with his baton, and DAISY attempts to gouge its eyes. Their attacks deal good damage, wounding the creature. It thrashes around a bit, spreading blood throughout the water, and pins Daisy against the sandy wall. Nick is able to escape its grasp.

Green: "What kind of things can you teach me?"

Richard: Groan

Spoiler:

Richard: "WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? THE CHEERLEADER AND THE HOT LIBRARIAN ARE BEING ATTACKED BY A SHARK."
Richard: Jump in and and attack the shark.

Nick the Cheerleader: Come up for breath, then drive my FUCKING BATON THROUGH THE SHARK'S FUCKING GILLS HAHAHAHA YEAH.